ruby at nineteen was cute and bubbly in 1968
she danced topless in the bar downstairs
slept in the big room upstairs
she had a little baby boy named Davie
her boyfriend in Vietnam
I had a terrible crush
hers were the first real titties I ever
saw up close
she had pointy cone like nipples
sometimes she wore tassels and swung
then around in circles
I used to laugh when she did
the men would hoot and holler
one time one night in the big room
upstairs she rolled her eyes up inside her
head, hit the floor and shook
epilepsy
she was in her nighty and no panties
I watched my mom force ruby’s mouth
open with a spoon
then they held her down till she was calm
they gave her pills and put her to bed
I remember watching her shake and watching
the ripple of her breasts and the wonder of it
like water balloons
I wasn’t supposed to be getting turned on by
her tits, not when she’s having a seizure
but I confess I was obsessed and I would sneak
into her room and look through her panties
if I had time, I would wrap the soft material around
my little ten year old dick and masturbate
my secret would have been forever mine
except one day ruby started screaming at Davie
she freaked out
but Davie had a happy as hell look on his baby
face
he was standing in his bed naked playing with
his little tiny penis
my mom beat me with a belt till my ass was numb
I had no idea the kid was watching.
J. Masuda © 2004